50/50 shot to get it right!



My whole outlook on parenting is that it is a much more difficult job than I ever thought! When we are young we feel that our parents have all the answers and wait a minute – do you mean they make mistakes? I have come to realize that parenting is a 50/50 shot at getting it right. I actually thought when I had children all the answers would just come naturally and flood my brain so that I would raise “the perfect child.” You know, the type of child we ALL believe we will have before we actually have children, yup that one…you know the one that DOES NOT exist. Now, I have 11 years of being a mom under my belt….thats right, 11 years and 6 years with two children (doing the math you may have guessed I have an 11 and a 6 year old) and I am proud to say that I do NOT have all the answers. I literally sit back, make a decision, cross my fingers and hope for the best possible outcome!

When we are pregnant we worry, about everything, but when you hear that little tiny baby cry you feel a sense of relief. I think I am like most moms, I prayed for a healthy baby. I have been blessed with 2 beautiful, healthy, loving boys. I do consider myself to be a pretty lucky mom, I mean at the pediatricians office my boys are both over the 75% percentile on the growth chart…isn’t that what we all want to hear at their visits? How our children measure up to the norm? I think I always held my breath waiting to see what percentile for height and weight my kids fell into and had a sense of pride when a paper was stapled to my oldest son’s growth chart because he had literally grown off the charts!

However, does anyone prepare you if you have a child with a reading disability? ADD? ADHD?  Autism? We hear of these things and think “Another kid with ADHD, what have their parents done wrong? If that were my kid he would listen no matter what!” Do we as parents really try and understand what another family might be facing?  What about Lyme Disease? Do people really understand the issues someone has to face with living with this disease? It is hard enough trying to do the best we can but I think we all have heard that baby crying and rolled our eyes wondering who the bad mother is that can’t keep her baby quiet!

Everyday I watch my boys grow, learn new things and experience life.  The older they get, the more I worry.   I feel that I doubt myself and everyday conversations have me wondering, “How did I handle that?” or “Is this normal pre-teen behavior?” or “Is there something else going on here?”

So how do I get over the guilt of making a possible wrong decision? Well, it’s knowing that every decision I make has some thought behind it and a sprinkle of mother’s love. Nobody will ever know you better than you. Everyday we grow as parents, and everyday our kids are one step closer to growing into little adults…so there is no definite answer. I give and take advice with a grain of salt. So if you read something here that isn’t your cup of tea, or may offend you (absolutely unintentional!) then please know that my goal here is to have mothers  and fathers come together, share some thoughts and most of all support one another. This day and age there is so much competition and craze trying to raise these little people that it literally takes a village!

*Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors, my thoughts are way to important to express than to worry about spelling and grammar 🙂

8 thoughts on “50/50 shot to get it right!”

  1. LOVE your picture! Absolutely breathtaking! Love your honesty. Thank you for sharing because your feelings, thoughts and worries are real and it validates what the rest of us Moms are experiencing! Thank you for sharing! Looking forward to the next blog!!! 🙂

  2. Toni,
    I am so proud of you, I have no words to describe the way I feel right now, you described being a true mom to the tilt, keep it up, I loved every word!

  3. Amazing!!! Well said and I can relate in so many ways. Loved the ending comment on grammar. Hilarious. Feel free to post your link on my compassionate Moms group on FB. You are a fabulous Mom and so much more. I’m honored to have you as my dear friend. You say it like it is! Love that. Spot on. :). (No auto spell check for comments, oh well, lol)

  4. Toni,

    I feel like you are taking the words right out of my mouth. You are a wonderful mom and I hope to learn something from you. Can’t wait to keep reading! Xoxo

  5. Wow! This was awesome and so so needed! I can relate to everything you expressed. Mother’s guilt, second guessing your parenting skills, what could I have done better, how can I be better, etc. you hit the nail on the head cuz. So proud of you!! Xo

  6. Toni,
    Wow words can’t explain how awesome this is. As a new father I worry every moment about how my child will become when I’m not around him. Cause like you said you don’t have all the answers but a little advise and knowledge can change a situation very easy.

  7. Toni, what you are doing is awesome. It’s great to read the words of another mom and be able to relate. It’s so funny that you wrote on this topic because lately I have been questioning alot of the decisions I have made as a mom now that my son is a teenager and having to do it all over again with my lil one. Great job mama. Looking forward to future blogs.

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